2020 Will Be The Same: Being Authentic & Keeping It Real

It’s devastating to hear. I know it. It’s literally December 31st and you’re all amped up (more or less) for the new year. 2020 will be different, right!? 2020 vision! Nobody can stop you in 2020. You’re gonna do the damn thing.

But here’s the reality. 2020 will be very much the same for a few reasons: 1. No monumental change happens overnight or in the first month of a new year and 2. It shouldn’t anyway.

It shouldn’t because, if it did, you wouldn’t really grasp the full lesson. If lessons were that easy to grasp, I don’t think life would be difficult at all. And let’s be honest, if life wasn’t in some capacity difficult, it would be boring as hell. We thrive only through the difficult, we conquer and triumph only through the obstacles. Without them, concepts like conquering, triumphing, and thriving wouldn’t exist.

The real is: Life is hard. Life is difficult. Life can sometimes suck. These are unchanging things that you can always expect to be constant. In identifying and understanding them as constant, you can also find the power in them. Life is hard. Life is difficult. Life can sometimes suck. That is never a reason to give in or give up.

So what do you do? You learn to rest. Not wait until the end of the year for a “cold-turkey” reset.

The problem is none of us know how to truly rest and it’s been a lesson I have been and am still teaching myself as of late. if we could learn how to do so, we wouldn’t feel so often this overwhelming sense of exhaustion and inclination to give up.

How often do you catch yourself saying, “I need a break”? How often do you actually take one? And by a break, I literally mean a break, not a complete stop. Breaks pick back up at some point.

2020 will be the same because you can’t just go from A-Z, even if Instagram tells you can. 2020 will be the same because nothing long-lasting and sustainable was made that way overnight, or in a matter of months. 2020 will be the same because you are under the belief that sharing a post to your IG story is indicative of all of the growth you need because it’s not something you would have shared before. Truth is this is a daily practice, it is hourly, it is by the minute, and second, and it is exhausting, and that is okay.

It is NOT supposed to be easy. It is not simple. Whoever told you it was, lied. But you can’t blame them, they want what’s best for you. And what’s best for you is you at the top of your game, 100% of the time. But that’s a lie too. Because everyone has off days, off moments, off months, and even off years.

So how can 2020 be different? It can be different by considering what you can do in one day that can carry over to the next. What are ACTIONABLE steps? And by actionable I mean what can you do TODAY that will carry to tomorrow? Not just because tomorrow is January 1st, but because you will need to take the same action from December 31st to January 1st, as you will need for each day of the new year.

At your end of the year recap, you are not just the person you were in those “big” moments.  This year I started grad school at the University of Pennsylvania, I started writing my second book, I pushed myself to start freelance work, I lost 16 pounds and conquered my poor stress eating habits.  These are all great things and accomplishments.

But the bigger accomplishments are in the small, small details.  I believed in myself enough to apply to grad school, I believed in myself enough to start freelancing.  I believed in myself and my art enough to start writing a second book. I put in the work to market and love the first one so something more could be born.  I identified moments where I felt exhausted or happy or sad and turned to food. I drank a gallon of water a day for three months and peed constantly. I went to the gym on days when I absolutely did not want to.  

People on the outside will see our wins and our losses but they don’t see the checkpoints, the repetition, the number of times that you reset all in the spans of one year.  You do not reset only from December 31st to January 1st. You reset daily. And that is how you grow. 

Zora Neale Hurston has a quote that is popular this time of year and it is, “There are years that ask questions and there are years that answer.”

And the years will. It is not end all be all here from 2019 to 2020.  The idea is continual growth, and in actuality, there is never quite a point in which you are done working on yourself, but there can be satisfaction and enjoyment in the process.

I hope you all release something not only today leading into tomorrow but for days to come as well.

We all have work to do in order to make this year different, I know I do. It will take time and it may not be done before we enter 2021 but we should be thankful for another year that has asked us questions and another year that has answered.

With Art and Love,

Ashley Mae

Check out my new podcast, “With Art and Love”, now on Spotify and Apple Podcasts and stay tuned for future posts and podcast episodes.