Self-Defined Success & Reflections on Imposter Syndrome
I planned on going to the art museum this past weekend but things happen, plans change. Wound up going to brunch though. The art museum always gives me plenty of space to appreciate art and the fact that, historically, people have disregarded influential people during their lifetime and then praised them once they’ve passed on. Museums literally hold centuries of this proof and I find myself motivated and empowered after leaving them, even if the work doesn’t directly connect with the kind of art I create. All museums treasure and hold some kind of respect for the work that is curated within them. This has given me pause to wonder how can I treasure and hold all of the work that is curated within myself?
I’m writing about the museum in conversation with Imposter Syndrome because in 2018 I wrote a blog post on my website about Battling Imposter Syndrome and the photo of me that I used for that post was taken in the Art Museum.
In that post, I discussed my experiences with Imposter Syndrome and detailed ways to combat it which you can find linked here.
I’m reflecting on this now, almost 2 years later to say that I’m happy that this feeling of “imposter” no longer haunts me. I’ve written here that I’ve had moments of standing in my own way and preventing my own growth. I believe that as I continue to learn and grow these moments will arise but with an awareness that I now attain to remove them more efficiently and quickly. And at the same time, I feel able to allow them to take up the space they require so I can do the movement itself.
I don’t feel like a fraud at anything and I don’t feel like I have to be perfect or to disregard the accomplishments I have made. I feel free of the pattern, and I feel even further, that I define my own success and no one else gets to tell me what that means.
This life experience is fully mine. My mind is fully mine and no one can take that from me because I have the full power of choice in my everyday actions, in my goals, and in what I want to be and to share with the world. And you have the same power.
It may take some time for that realization to fully actualize within you. And right now it may just be a few flutters of a thing just sitting in the back of your mind, gently nudging towards a higher form of thought. But continue to encourage that urge and to embrace the healthy inquiry and self-questioning that comes with growth.
We live in a world where people will constantly try to, either passively or aggressively, tell you who and how you should be and what your success has to look like. I’m here to say, frankly, forget that. There is no one way to live your life or to be. If success to you is being on the board of a non-profit then boom, you’re successful. If success is being able to sit at home worry-free and watch Netflix after work, boom, you’re successful. If success is going to work out every day without pause but it’s something that makes you feel good, then boom, you’re successful. If success is starting a family, in whatever capacity you mean to have a family, then boom, you’re successful. If success is traveling the world while you figure yourself out and just enjoy different cultures and different people, then boom, you’re successful. If success is getting out of your own way and creating a podcast and youtube channel to share your art and your creativity with others to inspire their own success, then boom, I’m successful. And that’s that on that.
So often, we can let our success depend on metrics. And this makes perfect sense because we assess value through measurements. But why do you assess a number to your personal value? Why do you need an external source to feel internally sufficient? And even further, do you? Or do you think you do? Try to consider some ways to unpack that.
Here are some questions to consider:
If you consider yourself to be free of any external judgments or pressures, what does success look like for you in your life?
What steps can you take towards self-defined success?
What would it do for your life if you took those steps and if you called yourself successful? How would it feel?
Take some time to journal, think on, invite someone into the conversation, whatever you have to do.
To tie in the conversation on Imposter Syndrome which may be hindering your ability to define your own success, here are some ways you can combat Imposter Syndrome today.
Refine Your Self-Talk -- Challenge yourself to turn negative statements about your body, mind, capabilities, etc. into positive ones. Do this so much it becomes a habit.
Learn To Accept Compliments/Praise -- It's completely okay to do this.
Recognize That You Have A Problem -- And that it is one that can be fixed with time and attention.
Make a Plan To Act On Your Problem -- For me, this includes motivational Being Mary Jane-Esque sticky notes all around my apartment.
Focus on The Now -- Try to not waste so much of today worrying about tomorrow.
Stop Selling Yourself Short -- You are talented, dynamic, skilled, and powerful.
Understand That You Are Not Alone -- You are not the only person who feels this way.
Surround Yourself With People Who Motivate You To Motivate Yourself -- If you're not surrounding yourself with people who push you to further your own growth, how can you ever expect to do it on your own? We all need help every now and then. Don't be afraid to accept it.
Stop Thinking You're Just Lucky -- And start actually acknowledging and respecting your own power, perseverance, and work. Don't downplay your abilities for the sake of what you confuse as humility or incapability.
Breathe -- This finds its way on my daily to-do list. Just breathe. You're often doing better than you think.
Continue To Create -- While you may feel like you don't have anything that is worth sharing, you do. Continue creating and use your frustration as motivation.
I’m not who I was two years ago and who I was two years ago was still exactly who I needed to be then. How are you going to be who you need?
Thank you so much for reading. Don’t forget to check out my Youtube channel for more of my content, I post new videos every Sunday.
With Love,
Ashley Mae
